I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
