I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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