I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
