True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I AM VODKA MAN
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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