Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
