his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
