Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
