oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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