i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
