You smell like a Billy Joel song
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
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