Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
