Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
