Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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