My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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