next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
