new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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