Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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