Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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