sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
God, I missed his penis.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
