i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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