What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
