batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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