would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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