also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
