She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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