Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
