Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
