I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We are two peas in an std pod
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
