It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
And then he peed in my hair
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