the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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