I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
