She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize