The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
