I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
