im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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