This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
