Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
