she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
