Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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