But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
