Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
