I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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