He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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