so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
