We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I got inside last night via doggy door
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
