it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
