Texts From Last Night

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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick

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  (304): My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick http://tfl.nu/tgso
  Replies (27) Good night (3825) Bad night (697)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.

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  (847): Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy. http://tfl.nu/pes5
  Replies (12) Good night (636) Bad night (4031)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?

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  (605): was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her? http://tfl.nu/02kh
  Replies (9) Good night (2803) Bad night (757)
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  (626): View more from California

  HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?

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  (626): HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN? http://tfl.nu/rsqz
  Replies (51) Good night (6178) Bad night (2348)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?

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  (708): Someone played tic tac toe on my abs? http://tfl.nu/19a9
  Replies (10) Good night (4597) Bad night (1263)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.

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  (954): I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom. http://tfl.nu/1p31
  Replies (8) Good night (2693) Bad night (1485)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.

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  (210): Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe. http://tfl.nu/6jsr
  Replies (14) Good night (2918) Bad night (882)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.

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  (267): I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible. http://tfl.nu/ayl9
  Replies (9) Good night (2035) Bad night (913)
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  (310): View more from California

  I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.

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  (310): I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies. http://tfl.nu/ehsm
  Replies (3) Good night (1316) Bad night (810)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.

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  (651): Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown. http://tfl.nu/eqha
  Replies (1) Good night (980) Bad night (427)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  I love you.

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  (214): Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants. (1-214): I love you. http://tfl.nu/sgzz
  Replies (5) Good night (2641) Bad night (650)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!

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  (863): I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!! http://tfl.nu/52t4
  Replies (9) Good night (519) Bad night (1369)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook

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  (516): I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook http://tfl.nu/llrr
  Replies (4) Good night (829) Bad night (436)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos

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  (613): When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos http://tfl.nu/lfoe
  Replies (2) Good night (456) Bad night (300)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex

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  (813): You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex http://tfl.nu/m04q
  Replies (2) Good night (430) Bad night (305)

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