all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I need a beard to bite.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"