So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
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I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!