That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.