i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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