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• (208): View more from Idaho

  all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope

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• (631): View more from New York

  i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time

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  You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?

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• (323): View more from California

  I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...

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• 

  27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (585): View more from New York

  I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I need a beard to bite.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"

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