Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  He's been sleeping iwht ***

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Nooo

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb

  (816): View more from Missouri

  And then hit her in the face with a shovel

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): He's been sleeping iwht *** (1-816): Nooo (816): Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb (816): And then hit her in the face with a shovel http://tfl.nu/a1q0
  Replies (3) Good night (1179) Bad night (2025)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night

  (514): View more from Quebec

  i got kicked out last time for laughing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night (514): i got kicked out last time for laughing http://tfl.nu/qj8w
  Replies (37) Good night (3746) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you. http://tfl.nu/55t9
  Replies (34) Good night (3399) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july. http://tfl.nu/a19z
  Replies (20) Good night (5929) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet http://tfl.nu/6v3o
  Replies (54) Good night (1546) Bad night (4421)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided. http://tfl.nu/ph4u
  Replies (20) Good night (1132) Bad night (4398)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman" http://tfl.nu/jaxb
  Replies (79) Good night (1578) Bad night (6959)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs" http://tfl.nu/qi7o
  Replies (27) Good night (5104) Bad night (1528)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo http://tfl.nu/nrq4
  Replies (23) Good night (4969) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall. http://tfl.nu/7ndl
  Replies (3) Good night (3561) Bad night (1409)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips http://tfl.nu/j5et
  Replies (4) Good night (1664) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition http://tfl.nu/xug9
  Replies (0) Good night (1227) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care. http://tfl.nu/ksws
  Replies (4) Good night (887) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will http://tfl.nu/g3an
  Replies (6) Good night (777) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing. http://tfl.nu/0ouw
  Replies (8) Good night (695) Bad night (444)

Randomize