Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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