I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough