no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
