what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
