some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
