i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
4 words: hood of his car
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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