i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
