My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
