I wish I could teleport
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
