He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
