When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
