how can u be prego again
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize