She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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