So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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