you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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