Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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