at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
