he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
