Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
