I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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