Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
