If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
